Just one day

Last night I was talking with a friend I haven't talked to in a while. Life has been getting in the way of phone conversations. I finally let go of everything that has been eating away at me. I am not a brick wall and I am toppling. After 4 years of struggling alone with Nellie's issues, of not allowing anyone to take over any of her care I admitted I need help. For a few minutes I felt like I was failing her. Like I wasn't what I needed to be. I can't go anywhere since no one will babysit Nellie, my life revolves around doctor appointments and I need to get away, just for a little while. I have always felt like if I allowed anyone, even Nellie's father to take over any of her medical stuff they'd mess something up, but it's time.
I had a talk with my mother and she is going to watch Nellie once a month so I can get away. This is going to be a great reprieve for me and I am excited!!! I don't think a lot of people realize what the day to day life is like for a family with a special needs child. It is hectic, busy, crazy, and so wonderful all at the same time. There are more sleepless nights and trips to the ER than most people face in a lifetime. It is our normal. It's our life and perhaps I wouldn't have chosen this life, but I wouldn't change it. I couldn't imagine my world without my Nellie in it.
You may ask what I'm going to do when Nellie goes to stay with my mom for a few hours and the answer is simple. I'm going to take the kids and do something that is hard to do with Nellie. We are going to go to a real restaurant. One with menu's and waiters! One dinner where the kids can sit and talk to us without us having to chase Nellie around the place and try to keep her from yelling. Then when we are done I'm sure I'll be at my mom's to pick her up early because I miss her ;)